I’ve known Matt all my life. All that I remember, anyway. I guess he knew
my dad back in the day, and he’s been coming around a lot more since the
funeral three years ago. He’s really cool and it’s always fun when he
visits. When we were younger he was basically banished from coming over
after dinner because our parents said he “wound us up” too much. Now that
bedtime isn’t as big a deal, and with Dad gone, Matt’s around more, and I
like that. He’s not a replacement or anything, but it’s nice to have a
man around. Matt knows things my dumb friends don’t. I trust him. He told
me I could ask him anything, and I definitely knew he wanted to add
“about sex” but didn’t say it out loud. I haven’t asked him anything like
that because it’s awkward, but if I were going to ask anyone for advice
about that stuff, it would be Matt.
Lately I’ve been wondering if talking is ALL Matt wants to do.
Maybe it’s in my head, but then I have to wonder why I’m thinking like
that. Am I a pervert? I don’t think Matt’s a pervert because he’s never
actually done anything that might make me feel weird about him. I guess I
really noticed last week when he was there when I got out of the shower.
We have a big yard, and no neighbors we can see, and what I like to do is
wrap the towel around me and just go walking around outside, at least
when it’s nice out. Air drying feels better than all the stupid rubbing
everywhere for some reason. I’d just finished my walk and my little
sister Hannah called me over to where she was talking with Matt. I always
give Matt a hug, and so I did it again. My towel got loose and would have
fallen off but Matt caught it at my hip.
“Don’t want to give any unscheduled shows, do we?” he asked, his hand
still on my hip.
I shrugged, and refastened the towel. “It’s just skin,” I said. “If Mom
didn’t care I might not even wear this.”
My sister said, “yuck!” and ran off.
“I’m sure you’d look good in anything or nothing,” Matt said. “It’s all
in the attitude.” He took his hand off my hip which surprised me, because
I had forgotten it was still there.
Later I was thinking about that again, but I wasn’t sure why. That, and
the time a couple of years ago when he came over for dinner and a
campfire. I never have really liked clothes all that much, and that night
I was just wear a pair of long underpants. I also had a blanket to wrap
up in because if I start shivering someone always makes me put on more
clothes. I was remembering the hugs Matt gave me that night. Not just
hello and goodbye, but a few times in between like when he was waiting
outside the bathroom when I came out. Thinking back on it, I was pretty
sure I remember him squeezing my butt. I mean, I definitely remembered it
when he did it, but it was funny like when some kid in school does it and
I would just do it back.
Was it just that I am getting older? My mom told me that I might get some
pretty crazy ideas when all the hormones kicked in, after all. Is that
what she meant?
I wore long underpants that night because it was a little cool out, but I
always wear as little as I can get away with when I’m at home. Usually
that means I walk around in my boxer briefs. Yeah, I’d rather be naked,
but my sister would definitely freak to see my pubic hair, and as Matt
said, it would be awkward if the house caught fire and I had to hang
around all those firemen naked. He didn’t actually say “awkward,” though;
he said it would sound like the beginning of a gay porn story.
Talking about gay porn also makes me wonder about him, but if he wanted
me, wouldn’t he rather I be naked? It’s just really confusing. Maybe it’s
just me. Everything seems to have to do with sex. My friends are always
thinking perverted thoughts, and maybe I am, too.
Matt goes to a lot of my swim meets, and we always talk about how I did
after I compete. When we talk, he’s always looking down. He’s taller and
that makes sense, but he doesn’t actually look me in that eye that much.
I even asked him about that and he said something about eye contact
making some kids uncomfortable from adults. Okay, maybe that’s it, but
maybe he’s looking at something else. Now I’m worried that at the next
meet I’ll think that, and get hard because I thought it.
If someone asks me if I like them like that, I say no even if I do. Matt
would probably do that, too. If I want to find out, I need to figure out
a different way.
But did I even want to find out? What if Matt really does want to see me
naked? What if he wants me to see HIM naked? I have seen enough porn that
I know how big adult dicks get and I know where he might want to put it.
I have looked at gay porn and it’s honestly a little scary. People really
like that? How?
Thing is, Matt’s awesome. He’s always able to tell if something is
bothering me, and it’s sometimes easier to talk to him than my mom. He’s
not pushy about it, like she is. Part of me thinks he wouldn’t be pushy
if something happened and I wanted to stop. Part of me thinks about how
out-of-control I feel when I’m ready to bust, and I wonder if I am
kidding myself about Matt being any better.
Part of me wondered why I was thinking about this as much as I was, but
then something happened on Thanksgiving that made it really obvious.
I’m the only boy in the family, now that my dad is gone, which can be
really tough sometimes. One nice thing is that I have my own bathroom. My
sisters think it’s totally unfair, but my mom really thought about who
should go in what room when we moved in. Trying to keep people from
fighting was part of it, but she told me it was about trust, too. There’s
a bathroom in her room, and one in the hall, and then mine. My room is
downstairs and has a sliding door into the back yard which a kid could
use to sneak out, which is mostly why I have this room, because she
trusts me not to do that. I also do an okay job keeping my bathroom
clean, which none of my sisters would.
We always have a bunch of people over for Thanksgiving, including Matt.
Everyone is told they can show up around noon even though dinner isn’t
until maybe four. I never get up before two if I can help it, but went to
bed a little early to try to be awake before that. I think what happened
is that the main bathroom was being used and Matt had to go, and since we
get along he just quietly opened my door and went into my bathroom. I was
asleep, and even though I didn’t hear him I think his coming in must have
made me wake up because I realized I should get out of bed.
I got up, stretched, and walked through the open door of the bathroom and
right into Matt, who was about to flush. He looked pretty surprised and
just left his hands on my hips, which reminded me that I sleep naked (of
course) and had morning wood (of course). Part of me wanted to die,
another part wanted to run and cover up, but the part between my legs
liked him touching me and wanted to move closer.
“Oh man, I’m sorry,” Matt said, taking his hands away. “I didn’t think I
woke you up.”
I decided not to do any of those things, and said, “It’s okay, just need
to pee.” I pushed past him and shoved my dick down at the bowl. It was
harder than usual now and it took a few seconds to get going. Matt didn’t
leave the bathroom.
As I flushed, I turned around and looked at him. “You look happy to see
me,” he said. Maybe he was trying to make a joke, but he didn’t laugh.
I decided to take him seriously, just to find out what would happen. “I
think you’re even happier to see me,” I said. I mean, he really could see
all of me now. He didn’t say anything, just stared at me, and I started
to feel nervous so I said, “I mean, you can look or whatever if that will
make you happy.”
He swallowed, and looked down, right at my dick. Suddenly I felt even
more naked, if that makes any sense, and I felt like I was trying to grow
another half inch down there to impress him as he stared.
“You look really nice, Ryan,” he said finally. “Definitely more than a
handful there.” He wrapped his hand around it and I froze. How could a
hand feel that amazing? He wasn’t even really doing anything, but it felt
like my hand makes it feel after really working on it. “Bet it’s more
than a mouthful, too.”
“I wouldn’t know,” I said, but I was hoping I was about to find out.
“Bet you could find out right now, if that’s what you wanted,” he said,
his eyes never leaving my crotch. His hand didn’t, either, and he
squeezed me when he said it. I thought my knees would buckle. “You want
to sit down?” he asked. I let him lower me to the toilet, after he closed
the lid with his other hand. Matt knelt down as I sat, and his face was
right there. I could feel his breath. Then, he let go, and moved just a
little bit closer.
“Up to you,” he said, looking up at me. His mouth was so close I could
feel the vibration of his words.
“Okay,” I said, feeling like I was letting go of something I had been
clutching very tightly.
When he started, it was like I had just been given an amazing present I
had wanted all my life, but didn’t know that I wanted at all. Matt’s hand
didn’t stop holding me as he did it, but the other one roamed free, like
a wolf searching for prey. It felt how the muscles were clenching in my
stomach and it knew that my nipples were as hard as they get in the pool
when the water’s a little cooler than the air. It found out that even
though I didn’t need to shave yet, there were invisible hairs growing
over my lip.
The other hand, though, was the one I cared about more, that and the
mouth which had joined it. I’d seen this stuff in porn, but I really had
no idea what it felt like. Matt didn’t moan the way porn actors do when
they get busy down there, but I think he was enjoying it. As for me, my
right leg started to tremble as I thought about what was happening to my
naked body with only an unlocked bedroom door keeping my family from
seeing.
Matt started doing something with his tongue which drove every other
thought out of my head. He was just below the tip, but it felt like he
was everywhere at once, and all of my nerve endings felt hot and ready to
explode. When I gripped his shoulders and inhaled sharply, he grabbed my
butt with both hands and tried to pull me deeper into his mouth. I only
barely felt his throat muscles wrap around my head when it came over me
in waves, clenching muscles from my throat all the way to my toes. When
my throat relaxed, I gasped out of reflex.
Before I opened my eyes, I felt him swallow, then my skin got cool as he
pulled off. I moaned a bit as he milked the last few drops out and kissed
them from the tip. I looked up as he stood and he smiled, and mussed my
hair. “Dinner’s almost ready,” he said before walking out.
Can I just say I was pretty thankful during that Thanksgiving dinner?
The End
